Don't Cha
by happybagel
Summary: Randomness
1. Chapter 1

A/N YAY another awesome fanfic from*drumrole*meee

Jacob:lalalala I'm a magical pony!

Seth:...umm okay Jake,have fun with that*leaves room*

Jacob:YO YO YO IT'S JIZZY JACOB IN THEEEE HOUSE!

Seth:...yo yo yo it's Sizzy Seth in theeee house!*eats paul's doritos*

2 MINUTES LATER

Paul:...WHERE ARE MY DORITOS

Seth:in my stomach!

Paul:*growl*

Seth:Nice puppy

Paul:*eats Seth*

Seth:ouch getting eaten hurts...hehehe will you go eat Leah

Paul:no

Seth:please?

Paul:no

Seth:please?

Paul:NO YOU IDIOT!

Seth:why?

Paul:she scares me...

Seth:sure THAT'S why...you probably have a crush on her...

Paul:didn't I just eat you...how can you talk?

Seth:'cause I'm cool like that...

8 MARSHMALLOW FLOWERS LATER

Jacob:DON'T CHA WISH YA GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME DON'T CHA WISH YA GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME OHH DON'T CHA

Leah:*walks in*FREAKSHOW!

Jacob:...yo mama

Leah:...ummm...yo mama is a llama

Jacob:yo mama fat...that...when she walked outside people thought there was an eclipse

Leah:yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl

Jacob:yo mama so ugly...that everyone died

Leah:that makes no sense

Jacob:yes it does

Leah:whatever...yo mama so tall she tripped on a rock and hit her head on the moon

Jacob:yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock

Leah:yo mama so broke she can't even pay attention

Jacob:yo mama so fat when she gets in an elevator it HAS to go down

Leah:Yo mama is so fat it looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen

Jacob:yo mama 'nuff said...

Leah:that was mean...

Jacob:and?

Leah:*bites Jacob*eww you taste like...yo mama

END OF CHAPTER

A/N HEHEHE YO MAMA IS SO OLD THAT HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS WRITTEN IN ROMAN NUMERALS OOOO WANT SOME ICE FOR THAT BUUUUURN JUST KIDDING I BET YOUR MOM IS AWESOME!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N OH OKAY I HAVE ONE FOR YOU GUYS

YO MAMA IS SO HAIRY THAT IF SHE COULD FLY SHE WOULD LOOK LIKE A MAGIC CARPET

Billy:I'M NOT YO DADDY I'M YO GRANDPA

Jacob:really?

Billy:maybe...maybe not

Jacob:I'M NOT YO SON I'M YOUR UNCLE

Seth:I'M NOT YOUR COUSIN I'M YOUR MAMA

SILENCE

Billy:weird child

Jacob: IM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT OOOH SOOO SEXY

Billy:FULL OF ORANGE JUICE

Jacob:climbin in yo windows killin yo peoples up killin killin killin killin hide ya kids hide ya wife and hide ya pony 'cause I'm killin everybody out here I'm not gonna come and confess but I'm lookin for you I'm gonna find you I'm gonna find you so you can run and tell that run and tell that homie homie!

Billy:I don't like you Jake, why can't you be like your sister and just not be in the story?

Jacob:*runs away*

Sam:*dies*

Emily:hahahahahehee you died!

Sam:*comes back to life*

Emily:*sadness*

Sam:what's wrong?

Emily:ummm...I ...thought...I ha d lost you forever

Sam:well you didnt*hugs emily*yay

Emily:yay*cries on the inside*

Seth:oooh IM SOOO BEAST!

Leah: you wish loser

A/N EL OH EL


	3. Chapter 3

I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH I DID

Me: please let me own Twilight?

Twilight People: no

Me: why?

Edward: because your like 43 years old

Me: WTF I'm soooo not 43

Edward: then how old are you?

Me: mind your own chiz. ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Seth: Edward, what do you taste like?

Edward: well young grasshopper...I am a vampire, therefore I have no smell

Seth: no I want to know what you taste like, not smell

Edward:...I knew that...

Seth:*mumbles* sure you did...

Edward: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Seth: nothing!

Edward: ARE YOU STEPPIN?

Seth: no sir

Edward: ARE YOU STEPPIN TO ME? LITTLE CHILD I ASKED YOU A QUESTION? ARE YOU STEPPIN?

Seth: no sir, Mr. Edward Dude...

Edward: that's what I thought...

Seth:*mumbles* that's his problem...ALWAYS thinking...

Edward: WHAT, WHAT YOU SAY?

Seth: *scared* nothing

Edward: I WILL PUT YOU IN A BOX!

* * *

LATER THAT DAY SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO

Jacob: why are we here again?

Jasper:...I don't know...Esme made me come...

Jacob: *laughing* OH so your MOMMY made you come, man up

Jasper:...ARE YOU STEPPIN?

Jacob:umm, yeah I guess so MAMA'S BOY

Jasper: DON'T GET CRAZY WOLFMAN, DON'T EVEN GET LOUD WITH ME DUDE! I WILL CUT YOU!

Jacob:...you and Edward are ghetto...

Jasper:*kills Jacob by accident*

* * *

YEAH, SO ONE DAY ESME JOINED A BOOK CLUB AND HERE'S HOW ONE OF THE MEETINGS WENT (FOR THE OTHER MEMBERS I WILL USE THE NAMES : JOAN, LILLY, AND ABIGAIL)

Joan: So Esme, what was your favorite part?

Esme: When they went home

Joan: Oh,that part was SO boring

Abigail: Yes, Joan. It was very boring. Esme, dear why did you like it?

Esme: it was the only part when people weren't getting killed up

Lilly: Yes, you always were like that...

Esme: like what?

Lilly: Oh nothing dear, forget I said it

Esme: OH NAW, WHAT YOU SAY 'BOUT MY MAMA?

Lilly:...nothing, I'm sure your mother is a lovely person...

Esme: OH NAW, YOU WANNA GO *gets loud and ghetto* *puts up fists*

Joan: Oh, I should have known better than to let some hoodlum into our group

Esme:...*eats book club

* * *

A/N I JUST WANT TO CLARIFY I AM NOT 43. PLEASE REVIEW AND DO NOT EAT ME I DO NOT TASTE LIKE FRIED CHICKEN...AS FAR AS YOU KNOW...


End file.
